“By the way, it’s not about making money. It’s about taking money, destroying the status quo, because the status… is not quo. The world is a mess, and I just… need to rule it.” — Dr. Horrible
I can’t remember exactly where I saw the original version of this (complete with cartoon), but it had something to do with writer Peter David. So,… hat tip to Mr. David. I then tweaked and added to it a bit and came up with this (with additional hat tip to Jeff Foxworthy for his “…You Might Be a Redneck” classic)…
How To Know If You Are A Supervillain:
1) If your laugh has a rather “theatrical flair” — e.g., the diabolical “MWAH-HAH-HAH-HAH-HAH!!!” (see video below) or the maniacal cackle (patent pending) –, then… you might be a supervillain.
2) If you often refer to yourself in the third-person and, at other times, use phrases like “incur my wrath”, “the moment is at hand”, “now they will pay”, and “Vengeance is mine!!!”, then… you might be a supervillain.
3) If you have a “secret lair”, perhaps in your garage or basement or an empty warehouse down the street, wherein you make plans for world domination and crimes against humanity (or, perhaps, a simple bank heist), then… you might be a supervillain.
4) If you maintain a cadre of lackeys/acolytes/minions, maybe even a small “army”, to do “odd jobs”, cater to your every whim, and from whom you (naturally) demand total, blind obedience, then… you might be a supervillain.
5) If you have the annoying habit (despite numerous hours of therapy) of revealing your master plans to your enemy, giving him/her/them time to escape, if applicable, and figure out a way to foil said plans, then… you might be a supervillain.
If it turns out that you ARE a supervillain and this has been helpful to you, please spare my life. (I have skills. I could be useful to you.)
If it turns out that you ARE a supervillain and this has been instrumental in revealing your identity to your neighbors, who turn you in to the proper authorities, then, when you inevitably escape, um… uh… sorry?… gulp!!! [How do I post this anonymously…?]
Ahem! In the spirit of giving honor where it is due, I dedicate this post to Dr. Horrible:
P.S. If you are not yet a supervillain but have aspirations to be one, check out this post.