…And, Man, Are My Arms Tired!

I have been out of town for the past week on vacation, and I just flew back yesterday afternoon. So, I haven’t had much time to research/write a normal, weekly post. That said, I wanted to stay (almost) on schedule and managed to put together a short one.

“When Ethan Hunt Said ‘No’ to Superman”

As you may know, Henry Cavill plays a CIA agent in the hours-from-being-released Mission: Impossible – Fallout. There is a scene in which his character (‘August Walker’) and Tom Cruise’s (‘Ethan Hunt’) HALO jump out of a C-17 military transport plane. As Cruise and anyone he works with will remind us, he is highly-trained — hundreds of hours of his own time learning various skills — and does as many of his own stunts as he can. (Still, production on the film was delayed after Cruise broke his ankle jumping between buildings.) So, of course, he jumped out of the plane.

Cavill thought his training for this and other roles was sufficient to do the same, but star/producer Cruise put the kibosh on that idea.

“The day came and I was begging Tom: ‘I’m wearing a parachute, I’ve got some wind tunnel (training), surely I can just jump?’ And he said, ‘Henry, I know exactly how you feel. I get it, you’ve done every single stunt in the movie so far, but this one I can’t let you do. It needs specific training.'”

When he realized how dangerous and complex the stunt was, Cavill relented: “I was like ‘OK, fine, I’ll sit this one out, Mr. Cruise,'” he laughed.

Cavill has said for years that he would love to play another superspy, James Bond, a role he was actually considered for a few years back. Meantime, he has played Napoleon Solo in The Man From U.N.C.L.E., though that version of the character was actually a high-end thief who gets betrayed by a woman and blackmailed into working for the C.I.A. But, Cavill still has his eye on the Bond role. When asked (on “The Rich Eisen Show”) about the possibility of him succeeding Daniel Craig after his final Bond film (currently just “Bond 25” (2019)), Cavill said,

“That would be a lot of fun! We’ll see. I mean, if the opportunity comes my way, then I will definitely jump at it. But,… that’s up to them [i.e., probably producers Barbara Broccoli and Michael G. Wilson], not to me.”

I didn’t include Cavill in my fan-casting for 007, but I agree, he’d make a great one!

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Fan-Cast: Captain America

“I fought your kind every day of that war, Zemo! You mocked democracy and said that free men were weak! Well feel this grip, Zemo. It’s the grip of a man who loves liberty! Look into the eyes of your foe, and know that he will die for his freedom! The world must never again mistake compassion for weakness! And while I live, it had better not!” — Captain America, Avengers, vol. 1, #6

Evans as Rogers/Cap

When the fourth Avengers movie comes out next year (2019), Chris Evans will be almost 38, and it will be his 10th film overall (including brief cameos) portraying the Sentinel of Liberty, Captain America. If you ask me, he could play the character for a few more years, but he might be getting a little tired of it, wanting more time to branch out into other roles. At the moment, Evans doesn’t have any other movies scheduled in which he plays Cap, and he confirmed this past March that Avengers 4 will be his last time as the Shield-Slinger. Rumor has it that Steve Rogers will die, and another hero will put on the flag costume and grab the shield — probably either Bucky Barnes (aka Winter Soldier) or Sam Wilson (aka Falcon), both of whom have taken on the mantle in the comics.

But, what if Marvel/Disney decided to go another way? What if they re-cast the Steve Rogers role, perhaps by bringing in a version from an alternate timeline? Or, they fake his death, only to bring him back after a little plastic surgery? (Hey! It could happen…) Don’t like those options? OK, let’s pretend we are in an alternate universe in which they are only now getting around to planning the MCU, and they’ve decided to start with Captain America, the First Avenger, instead of Iron Man or Hulk. Who should we cast? Hmmm…

Captain America

First, allow me to give a brief “origin story” / history / profile of the character from the comics….

Steve Rogers was a rather skinny, even frail, young man with a strong sense of honor and duty. He wanted desperately to help fight America’s enemies in World War II, but his slight physique kept him from meeting the physical requirements to join the Army. He was recruited by General Chester Phillips to participate in Dr. Abraham Erskine’s “Operation Rebirth”, a top-secret performance-enhancing experiment. With a combination of Super Soldier Serum and vita-rays, Rogers was transformed into a robust figure at the peak of human strength, speed, and agility. After combat training, Rogers was given a red-white-and-blue costume and similarly painted steel shield, then sent overseas. Later, his “uniform” was updated, and he was given his famously indestructible, disc-shaped shield of vibranium-steel alloy, designed by Dr. Myron MacLain.

Rogers went on several missions over the next few years, some solo, some with his partner (teenage Bucky Barnes) and/or a squad of soldiers. He also occasionally fought alongside other costumed heroes of the era (e.g., the Invaders). He became quite a hero and symbol for America and her Allies, fighting Nazis and other fascists, imperialists, and even a time-traveling Dr. Doom. Then, when he and Bucky were battling Baron Zemo in April 1945, an exploding plane apparently killed Bucky and cast Cap’s unconscious body into icy waters. His body was never recovered and he was presumed dead. That is, until decades later, when his frozen body was discovered in suspended animation in a block of ice. He was recovered by the Avengers, whose ranks he soon joined.

Over the following couple decades (longer in real-time, of course), Rogers fought innumerable fascists, communists, anti-nationalists, eco-terrorists, alien invaders, ninjas, evil secret societies, street gangs, fanatical militias, criminal organizations, supervillains of various types, demons, gods and demi-gods, etc. On occasion, he even mixed it up with a few superheroes and vigilantes. His personal rogues’ gallery would likely be topped by the Red Skull, Baron Zemo (both of them), and Hydra.

While Captain America has befriended many superheroes, including working with a few official junior partners (i.e., Bucky Barnes, Sam Wilson / Falcon, Rick Jones), he is best known for his membership in the Avengers. His inspiring presence and leadership abilities made him a natural leader of the team, whether on or off the battlefield, and he served in that role — off and on — for many years. There were times when he temporarily left the team, by choice or otherwise, but he eventually ended up back with them in some capacity. Rogers even spent brief periods using different noms de guerre — e.g., Nomad, the Captain — and a few civilian aliases. But, as Captain America, not only did Rogers become a prominent modern-day hero and the heart & soul of the Avengers, he also grew his Living Legend status as an icon and defender of liberty, justice, American ideals and patriotism.

Except for those storylines where he temporarily mutated or significantly aged, Steve Rogers has always been a handsome, square-jawed, white guy with blonde hair. Thanks to the experiment that gave him his enhanced abilities and an intensive exercise regimen, Rogers is quite muscular and athletic. More recent events would, I think, put him at roughly early- to mid-40s (ignoring the 60-70 years in suspended animation, of course), but he was born in 1920 and would have been in his early-20s when he was subjected to Dr. Erskine’s procedure. The Cap that emerged from the ice would’ve been roughly 25. Marvel’s wiki lists him at 6’2″, 220 lbs, and “a ‘perfect’ specimen of human development and conditioning.” (I would like to see someone cast who is between 6′ and 6’5″, with a physique that is believable for a near-superhuman with the martial and acrobatic training Cap has had.) As for personality, Rogers is kind, selfless, even-tempered, loyal, brave, very confident, but without the arrogance someone of his abilities and accomplishments might be expected to have. He is mostly serious, especially during a mission, but can relax and joke around a bit during down-time. Sometimes… maybe.

If the powers-that-be wanted (for whatever reason) to cast a 40-ish Steve Rogers, then I suggest one of the following: Ryan McPartlin (6’4.5″,b.1975), Johann Urb (6’4″,b.1977), Justin Hartley (6’2.5″,b.1977), or Trevor Donovan (6’2″,b.1978). They all meet the physical requirements. McPartlin played ‘Captain Awesome’ (just a nickname) on “Chuck”, Urb played ‘Vigilante’ on “Arrow”, Hartley has played both ‘Aquaman’ (sort of) and ‘Green Arrow’. Donovan hasn’t played a superhero, yet, but he’s quite young-looking and could play a 30-something character. On the other hand, if they wanted someone closer to Chris Evans’ age (b.1981), here are four more great choices: Dylan Bruce (5’11.5″,b.1980), Luke Macfarlane (6’2″,b.1980), Philip Winchester (6’1″,b.1981), or Travis Van Winkle (6′,b.1982). You may remember Bruce from shows like “Arrow” and “Orphan Black”; Macfarlane plays the older Jaqobis brother on “Killjoys”, though he has appeared in “Supergirl”, too; Winchester has been in “Strike Back” and “Fringe”, among others; Van Winkle currently co-stars in “The Last Ship”. Again, they’re all very physical actors, but Van Winkle would probably need to bulk up more than the others.

My preference is to go a bit younger. I considered both Chris Zylka (6′,b.1985) and Luke Bracey (6′,b.1989) but ultimately rejected them in favor of the following three gentlemen:

Alan Ritchson

My favorite candidate is Alan Ritchson (6’2″,b.1984), who I have had in mind for the role for several years — probably since I first saw him as Arthur Curry / ‘Aquaman’ on “Smallville”. Genre fans might remember him as ‘Gloss’ on The Hunger Games: Catching Fire, and he also played ‘Raphael’ in the recent Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles films. Ritchson was in Lazer Team and made appearances on “CSI: Miami”, “Hawaii Five-O”, and “Black Mirror”. He was a regular as a cop on “Blood Drive”, and he will be portraying ‘Hawk’ in the “Titans” series premiering later this year. He has the perfect look and build for Steve Rogers, and he even has prior (and upcoming) experience playing costumed adventurers. This guy would make an awesome Captain America!

Greg Finley on ‘The Flash’

Greg Finley (6′,b.1984) is a lesser-known actor, but he has been in a few genre productions. For example, he appeared in Hypothermia, “Star-Crossed”, “The Flash” (as ‘Gridiron’), and “iZombie”, as well as episodes of “Law & Order: Special Victims Unit” and “CSI”. In that last one, he played an amateur — and non-powered, of course — costumed vigilante. (One of a small group, actually.) Thus, he was credited as ‘Male Superhero’. Finley is obviously a beefy, good-looking guy, and he might actually be a surprisingly good Captain America.

Armie Hammer

Probably the biggest name — not to mention, tallest actor — among my candidates is Armie Hammer (6’5″,b.1986), who teamed up with Henry Cavill (aka Superman) in The Man from U.N.C.L.E. not long ago. He has also appeared in J. Edgar, Mirror Mirror, The Lone Ranger (as the title character), Free Fire, Mine, and Sorry to Bother You. He also provided the voice of ‘Strong Arm’ in Stan Lee’s Mighty 7. Assuming he bulks up sufficiently for the role (as the other two would, I’m sure), I think Hammer could really make a great Steve Rogers and his alter-ego, too!

 

In addition to acting talent and an appropriate physique, the best choice would have a good measure of charisma and likability, as well. So, who do you think would be the best pick?

Happy Independence Day, y’all!

* All ideas copyright Christopher Harris, 2013-2018.

Fan-Cast: The Equalizer

“Got a problem? Odds against you? Call the Equalizer 212-555-4200” — newspaper ad

Did you ever watch “The Equalizer” series back in the mid- to late-1980s? (Assuming you were around back then, that is.) Or, maybe you picked it up later on some cable or streaming channel, or you got the DVDs from the library? Anyway, it aired during my high school days, and I thought it/he was so cool. Not as much action as you might think, certainly not as compared to some of its contemporaries (e.g., “The A-Team”). But, it was a “gritty”, well-written drama (like “Wiseguy”) and one of my favorite shows at the time.

The titular character was ‘Robert McCall’, played so well by the late Edward Woodward (5’9or10″,b.1930). McCall was a middle-aged, former CIA operative (yet, obviously British), now retired and living comfortably in a modest NYC apartment. He had expensive tastes — i.e., for nice clothes, food, wine, opera — and didn’t seem to hurt for money, but he didn’t have a regular job. In an effort to ease his conscience from having done some nasty stuff in the past, he offered his services — at no cost, apparently — to average folks who got in over their heads and felt their lives/safety threatened. In effect, he was part private investigator, part vigilante.

Woodward played the character with a combination of stern, cool menace and mystique. McCall may have preferred to keep things low-key and not resort to violence, but he was quite comfortable using physical assault, threats, guns, and whatever else it took to protect his clients from bad guys and, in many cases, teach his opponents a lesson in “manners”. Because he was 50-something and had a cultured, British air to him, New York criminals — especially young punks and hoods — often underestimated him.

Edward Woodward as The Equalizer

While primarily a solo operator, McCall made use of his many contacts and a few specialists. His old handler, ‘Control’ (Robert Lansing), would alternately give warnings, advice, or provide helpful information, but he also argued a lot with McCall and didn’t always cooperate. McCall had a sort of love/hate relationship with the NYPD, sometimes assisting and sometimes being a thorn in the side of various Lieutenants (Smalls, Burnett, Brannigan, Elmer) and others. ‘Mickey Kostmayer’, played by the terrific Keith Szarabajka, was a young CIA operative that McCall most often called on for backup when things were gonna get hairy. (I seem to remember him having some computer expertise, as well, but don’t quote me on that.) There was also the streetwise ‘Jimmy’ (Mark Margolis), who was able to “acquire” whatever McCall needed for surveillance, sting operations, etc. ‘Sterno’ (Irving Metzman) was the overweight and somewhat neurotic accountant/numbers-guy who McCall roped into assisting in a few episodes. ‘Pete O’Phelan’ (Maureen Anderman) added her skills into the mix in later episodes. Etc.

The other day, I watched the new(ish) The Equalizer (2014) film starring Denzel Washington (6’1″,b.1954). (Russell Crowe (5’11.5″,b.1964) had been originally attached to star.) I wasn’t quite sure what to expect, but I have mixed feelings about it, given my affinity for the old TV series. The acting by Washington and his co-stars was terrific, of course, and it was a decent story. (SPOILER ALERT!: McCall doesn’t call himself ‘the Equalizer’ or solicit clients with a newspaper ad until the very end.) But, other than being a retired CIA agent with a certain set of skills (and psychological baggage) and a love for reading classics, this version of McCall was very different from the TV version. There was also more violence, but that’s to be expected in an ‘R’ movie involving vigilante justice.

Personally, I’d prefer a white guy in the role, though the character works fine for a Black actor, too. I’m more concerned that they made him American. I mean, sure, it makes more sense for a CIA operative to be American. But, McCall’s being British was part of what made the original an interesting character. (Given his last name, Scottish would be acceptable, too.) The other (potential) issue for me is age. Woodward was 55 when the pilot debuted and 59 at the series finale; I think that age range works best for the concept. Washington, on the other hand, was 59 when The Equalizer movie came out, and he’ll be 63 when the sequel hits theaters this July. That said, I thought he totally sold the fight scenes. (Kudos to the director and fight choreographer, as well.) So, I guess a fit 60-something works, too.

With that in mind, if I were to fan-cast ‘Robert McCall’ for a new TV series, perhaps one that continues from where the original left off, here are a few candidates…

Peter Woodward

I would love to see Peter Woodward (5’10.5″,b.1956) take over his father’s role. He has a similar build and bearing, and he has a long resume of work in the action/adventure and sci-fi/fantasy genres. For example, “Crusade”, The Patriot, “Charmed”, “Fringe”, The Fall of the Essex Boys, “Dracula”, The Last Scout, plus some voice work, and currently “Age of the Living Dead” and “Dystopia”. He’s already 62, but as long as he’s relatively fit, I think he’d be great. Whether or not to give him a hairpiece, I’m undecided. 🙂

 

Ray Winstone

Another actor in his early 60s that might do the character justice is Ray Winstone (5’10”,b.1957). He generally plays less-refined types, but he probably has the skills to play a more “cultured” character. He certainly won’t have a problem with the violence, since he’s done a few of those roles. A few credits on his CV are “Fox”, “Robin Hood”, Sexy Beast, Henry VIII, King Arthur, The Departed, “Vincent”, 44 Inch Chest, The Sweeney. He may need to shed a few pounds, but I think Winstone could be a decent Equalizer.

 

Ralph Fiennes

Now, going a bit younger and a somewhat different look, let me suggest Ralph Fiennes (5’11”,b.1962) as our new McCall/Equalizer. Regarding genre credits, consider Schindler’s List, Strange Days, Red Dragon, various Harry Potter films, The Hurt Locker, Clash/Wrath of the Titans, Coriolanus, and the last two James Bond flicks. Fiennes definitely has both the drama and action chops, and I think he’d do a fine job in the role of our erstwhile CIA man-turned-detective/vigilante.

 

 

Graham McTavish

Finally, while slightly on the tall side, I think Graham McTavish (6’2″,b.1961) might be a terrific choice for the part. He’s certainly physically fit and used to action-oriented roles. Some relevant things he has appeared in are “Red Dwarf”, “Taggart”, Rambo, “Prison Break”, “24”, the Hobbit movies, Creed, “Outlander”, “Preacher”. McTavish has done quite a bit of voice work, too. He often has a full beard, but I chose a pic without it (as with the other candidates). Next to Peter Woodward, McTavish just may be my preferred candidate.

 

 

I’m sure there are other great British actors that would do a bang-up job as ‘The Equalizer’. Indeed, I considered and rejected a few more (e.g., Liam Neeson, Idris Elba, Peter Firth, Colin Salmon) for various reasons. But, among those I’ve been exposed to, the above are my top choices. Feel free to add your own suggestions…

* All ideas copyright Christopher Harris, 2013-2018.

Fan-Cast: Black Widow

“Hawkeye, your mouth flies faster than your arrows.” — Black Widow

Last November, a somewhat vague comment by Stan Lee hinted that a Black Widow solo film might be in the offing. Then in January, reports started coming out that confirmed this, with Jac Schaeffer attached as screenwriter and a tentative release date — well, year — of 2020. Presumably, Scarlett Johannson will star. She is a big reason for the character’s popularity in the Avengers and related movies, after all.

But, it got me thinking it was time for me to fan-cast our favorite Russian femme fatale. I mean, if Johannson wasn’t necessarily attached to the film — maybe they were looking to reboot the character after Avengers 4 –, who would I give the tight black costume and “Widow’s bite” bracelets to?

First, though, a brief review of the character…

Black Widow

The “origins” of Natalia Alianovna Romanova (aka Natasha ‘Tasha’ Romanoff) are a bit confusing, as there have been conflicting tales. What we know for sure is that she is decades older than she looks, she has enhanced human strength/stamina/reflexes and other abilities (perhaps due to a variation of the Super-Soldier Serum), she was married to a distinguished Soviet test pilot (Alexi Shostakov, who became Red Guardian), and she eventually went to work for the U.S.S.R.’s KJB during the Cold War.

With her gifted intellect and athletic regimen, Romanova mastered multiple forms of martial arts and many blades and firearms, became fluent in several languages, and she is exceptionally skilled in information-gathering and other spy-related talents. In addition to traditional weapons, she has been known to employ an electric “Widow’s bite” via special wrist-devices, which hurt like heck and can stun even a very large opponent. In short, she is a top-level spy and one of the deadliest assassins in the world, making her nom de guerre, “Black Widow”, quite appropriate.

Romanova clashed with both Iron Man and Hawkeye early in their careers, even pitting them against one another, which helped to label Hawkeye a criminal. Shortly afterward, she was seriously injured when trying to defect, and she convinced her then-paramour Hawkeye to turn to the Avengers. Black Widow has had a long, mostly friendly, association with the Avengers ever since, having led at least one team. She has worked with S.H.I.E.L.D. a lot, too. She had a long relationship/partnership with Daredevil and has been romantically linked with Bucky Barnes (aka Winter Soldier). She even co-founded the Champions of Los Angeles, though the team disbanded not long after. Despite these associations with many superheroes and the U.S. intelligence community, Black Widow has spent a lot of time as a solo operator, as well. She even retired for awhile, but that didn’t last.

Since her defection from the Soviet Union, Romanova’s foes have ranged from underworld thugs and costumed criminals to super-spies, super-soldiers, and foreign governments. As a trained spy and assassin, she learned to be very cold, calculating, practical, and it serves her well in her line of work. But, she has softened a bit over the years. Certainly, she has demonstrated compassion and loyalty to her friends, lovers, and toward the victims of her enemies. Still, she is not the easiest person to get to know, and she can be quite hard and brutal. She’s a complicated woman with decades of violence and death — often at her own hands — behind her, and that tends to take a toll on anyone. (Anyone who isn’t a sociopath, that is.)

On to the casting…

Scarlett Johansson (5’3″,b.1984) has done a decent job with the role, but she never quite felt right to me. She didn’t have quite the right look, she’s too short, and I always thought Natasha should retain at least a mild Russian accent. (I know, a good spy would probably learn to speak English without the accent. Still,…) The Marvel wiki lists Black Widow as 5’7″, so I think a range of 5’5″ to 5’9″ is fair. I’d like to cast a natural redhead and/or someone from Russia, but hair-coloring and a good voice coach could make sure those bases are covered, I suppose. She should, of course, be very attractive, able to perform “action moves”, and probably ranging from mid-20s to early-30s (though I might have to settle for mid-30s).

I considered several actresses for the role, mostly from Russia or Eastern Europe: 1) Slovak-born actress/opera singer Apollonia Vanova (b.1966), known for various genre roles, including ‘Silhouette’ in Watchmen and the leading Wraith Queen in “Stargate: Atlantis”; but, she’s too old. 2) Ana Alexander (5’10”,b.1976), a Serbian-born model/actress, has appeared in Glass Trap, a couple CSI series, “Bones”, et al. Great look, but still too old and too tall. 3) Ukrainian-born actress/model Olga Kurlenko (5’8.5″,b.1979), known for roles in Hitman, Quantum of Solace, Oblivion, Momentum. She’s a little too old, as well. 4) I have long thought that French actress/model Eva Green (5’6″,b.1980) (Casino Royale, The Golden Compass, 300: Rise of an Empire, “Penny Dreadful”) would make a great Black Widow, but she’s a tad older than I’m looking for, now.

I eventually narrowed it down to four other talented ladies, whose ages (at the time of writing) range from 32 to 35. They are…

Olga Fonda

Russian-born Olga Fonda (5’6.5″,b.1982) came to my attention a couple years ago while watching the short-lived “Agent X” TV series, in which Fonda played supporting player and enemy agent ‘Olga Petrovka’. Others might recognize her from Real Steel, “The Vampire Diaries”, or appearances in “Nikita”, “Hawaii Five-0”, or “Altered Carbon”. She’s pretty, a native Russian, almost the exact height of the comic character, and has genre experience — even to playing a Russian spy. She’s also trained in martial arts (both armed and unarmed), extreme sports, and likes to do her own stunts Works for me!

 

Yuliya Snigir

The only thing I’ve seen Yuliya Snigir (5’5.75″,b.1983) in is A Good Day to Die Hard (see pic), which I just re-watched a few weeks ago. I immediately thought that this Russian beauty would be perfect to play Natasha Romanoff. She also starred in the Dark Planet movies, Delirium, and Blockbuster. As with Fonda, Snigir is very attractive, Russian-born, and has genre credits. Looks good riding a motorcycle or firing a gun, too, both of which Black Widow has an affinity for. She’d be great!

 

Tereza Srbova

Tereza Srbova (5’8″,b.1983) is a model/actress/singer from the Czech Republic, who I noticed when she guest-starred in a few episodes of “Strike Back” as ‘Major Nina Pirogova’. She has also appeared in “Eastern Promises”, Inkheart, Siren, and The Inside. I’ve only ever seen pics of her as a blonde, but that shouldn’t be a problem. She holds a masters degree and speaks four languages (none of them Russian, though) and has a bit of familiarity with guns (thanks to “Strike Back”). Another wonderful choice to play ‘Tasha!

Emily Beecham

In “Into the Badlands”, British actress Emily Beecham (5’5.25″,b.1985) plays a deadly, red-headed warrior woman, who wears black and calls herself “The Widow”. Too on the nose? Sure, but she has both the looks and the skills, thanks to the martial arts training she and others go through for the show. She has appeared in “Afterlife”, 28 Weeks Later, “Merlin”, Basement, “The Fear”, “The Musketeers”. She also did a little voice work for the “Mirror’s Edge” video game. As long as she can do a decent Russian accent, she’d make a great Black Widow for the Marvel Cinematic Universe.

There you have ’em. Four lovely and talented candidates to play the lethal assassin/spy/superhero, Black Widow. Choose one, if you dare….

* All ideas copyright Christopher Harris, 2013-2018.

Inhumans Mini-Review and Fan-Cast

Yep, I did it! I watched the “Inhumans” mini-series.

I have to say, it didn’t suck as badly as I’d expected, based on some comments I’d read. But, it was very disappointing. As mentioned in an earlier post, I’ve liked the Inhumans, especially the Royal Family, since their early appearances in the Fantastic Four comics. So, although I realize they might not be the easiest to adapt to live-action, what with the supersized dog and the leader/king who can’t speak (without destroying stuff, that is), I was still hoping for a decent show. So much for that idea…

SPOILERS! SPOILERS! SPOILERS! SPOILERS! SPOILERS! SPOILERS! SPOILERS! SPOILERS!

Now, there were positive points. For example, I thought Lockjaw looked great, and his teleportation effect was cool, too. Other visual F/X were good, and they got the general color schemes for the characters right. Triton was surprisingly bad@$$. (I don’t remember him being so deadly in the comics, but then I haven’t read any Inhumans stories in several years.) What else? Um,… the girls were cute, and, uh,… I’m sure there was something else I liked….

One annoying thing I noted early on was when otherwise-intelligent people kept doing stupid things or *not* doing sensible things. For example, I realize that Black Bolt’s sign language would not have been understood by Americans, but why didn’t he at least try to communicate with the police? He (and his family) obviously knew a lot about some Earth things, including how to read/speak/understand English. Couldn’t he have written stuff down? Also, how did he not realize that stealing would bring attention from law-enforcement? Then there’s Medusa, who didn’t think to take Auran’s comm unit. Also, since she must have known of Auran’s incredible healing ability, why didn’t she make sure Auran was dead after their battle, or at least shackle or tie her up?

There were inconsistencies, too, like Gorgon’s boots being shaped like hoofs (as they should be), and then later just looking like normal boots.

The writing and acting was generally bad or lackluster. I’ve seen some of the actors before, and they didn’t suck then. So,… do we blame the director? Black Bolt in particular was odd. For one thing, I kept thinking I was watching Jim Caviezel, ‘cuz Anson Mount looks so much like him. Something about the set of the jaw and the eyes, I think. But, while Mount was forced to do much of his acting via his eyes, I’m afraid it just didn’t work. His range of expression seemed to be stuck between alarmed, frustrated, and just plain bewildered. (I don’t remember his performances in anything else, so I can’t say if he has displayed much more depth or range.)

And Maximus? I was really looking forward to a raving madman. After all, they don’t call him “Maximus the Mad” for nothing. But, what we got was a better-behaved Ramsay Bolton who just wanted to be one of the cool kids. Sigh!

Another disappointing thing was the limited displays of Medusa’s and Karnak’s powers. I think I read a critique somewhere that said her prehensile hair wasn’t a good effect, but I thought it was decent. In my opinion, shaving her hair off in the beginning, while a dramatic plot point (and true to a comic storyline, I think), was a bad move. We fans want to see Medusa (and her hair) in action! (Also, Serinda Swan looks <much> better with hair.) As for Karnak, they made a point of injuring him to reduce his amazing analytical abilities, which then gave him a crisis of confidence. Related to this was his limited fighting. Was this intentionally done, because Ken Leung has little-to-no martial arts ability? Again, I wanted to see Karnak the Shatterer kick butt! He had a couple OK scenes (though one took place mostly in the dark) — and it was kinda cool the way they showed him calculating trajectories and probabilities and such — but he could/should have been <so> much better. (Props for giving him the facial tats, but why no enlarged cranium?) Wish we had seen more of Triton, too. He must’ve been reveling in having all that water to swim in! And we didn’t get to see Black Bolt fly, either, dangit!

In the end, I suppose I would have chosen a different story that allowed everyone to better showcase their powers.

Alright, I’ve said enough about that. Now, I’d like to present my choices for if I were to cast the Inhumans Royal Family. I won’t get into Inhumans history or powers/abilities or (for the most part) the actors’ resumes, this time. Let me say up front that, as usual, I tried to stick to the general height (within reason) and build of the characters as seen in the comics. Also, I think Black Bolt is one of the oldest of the royal siblings & cousins, so I put him at mid-30s to 40. Crystal would be the youngest at early- to mid-20s. Everyone else should probably be late-20s to late-30s.

Philip Winchester

Nicole Steinwedell

I considered both Ryan McPartlin (6’4.5″,b.1975) and Eric Dane (6’1″,b.1972) for Black Bolt, but they’re both a little older than I preferred, and McPartlin’s a little too tall. So, I went back to someone I’ve recommended for other square-jawed hero roles: Philip Winchester (6’1″,b.1981). For Medusa, I wanted someone who could play both regal and compassionate queen, preferably redhead (though that’s going to be CGI, anyway), and (here’s the toughest part) tall. Either Eva Green (5’6″,b.1980) or Emily Beecham (5’5.25″,b.1984) would be great, except Marvel’s wiki puts Medusa at 5’11”. It is really tough to find good actresses in that height range. But,… though she is usually blonde, I think Nicole Steinwedell (5’11”,b.1981) fits the bill! (I even found a pic of her in a purple/violet dress!)

Roman Reigns

Nicholas Tse

The warrior Gorgon is tall (6’7″) and muscular, so I thought a wrestler might be a good choice. In fact, it didn’t take me long to realize that Joe Anoa’i (aka Roman Reigns) (6’3.25″,b.1985) is practically perfect. I mean, look at this guy! Put him in hoof-boots, and he might even reach 6’7″. Karnak, on the other hand, is a foot shorter and slimmer (though still muscular). It has never been clear to me if he is supposed to be Asian-looking. (Sometimes, he even looks French to me, for some reason.) But, that’s the way the series went with the character, and I agree. Jet Li (5’6.25″,b.1963) might’ve been a fair choice, but he’s too old and still has a thick accent. So, my vote is for Nicholas Tse (5’9″,b.1980), who is an actor & martial artist who happened to go bald for a recent part (see pic).

Andy On

Saoirse Ronan

Medusa’s baby sister, Crystal, is a pretty strawberry-blonde who clocks in at 5’6″. I decided to go with the talented Saoirse Ronan (5’6″,b.1994), known for her work in Atonement, The Lovely Bones, Hanna, all before she turned 17. She could certainly play young Crystal with some depth. (Coincidentally, in recent years Crystal was married to (and subsequently separated from) Ronan the Accuser, the Kree warrior/judge.) As for Karnak’s older brother, the water-breathing Triton, I opted for another martial artist/actor: Andy On (5’11”,b.1977). (I would’ve considered him for Karnak, but he’s too tall.) He is a little older than I’d like for the role, but he has the right build, and I think he can easily pass for 30-something.

 

 

 

 

 

Finally, we have Black Bolt’s younger brother and intermittent enemy, the evil and treacherous Maximus. I saw someone else fan-cast Joaquin Phoenix (5’8″,b.1974), who coincidentally played ‘Commodus’ to Russell Crowe’s ‘Maximus’ in Gladiator. While a little older and shorter than preferred, I agree that he could’ve been a great Maximus the Mad. While Maximus has had a number of different looks (i.e., costume, armor, hair, build), it was a more recent version (rightmost pic above) that made me think of Dominic Rains (6′,b.1982). If Rains looks familiar, it is because — and here’s another one of those interesting connections — he has been playing the evil (insane?) Kree overlord/station-commander, Kasius, on the current season of “Marvel’s Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D.”, who creates Inhumans for his own entertainment and profit. Perfect, no?

Rains as Kasius

Dominic Rains

 

 

 

 

 

 

Now that is an Inhumans movie/series I would love to see!

This concludes our review/fan-cast combo for the Inhumans Royal Family. Hope ya liked it! Don’t be afraid to leave a relevant comment below….

Fan-Cast: Deathstroke the Terminator

“You called me a villain. Never thought of myself as that. I’m a mercenary. A soldier for hire.” — Slade Wilson, Deathstroke

Most of you are probably aware that Slade Wilson (aka Deathstroke the Terminator), played by Joe Manganiello (6’5″,b.1976), is set to be a villain — perhaps the main one? — in The Batman. Or, at least, he was, until questions about Ben Affleck’s involvement and other issues arose, then Matt Reeves took over as director, and now it isn’t certain if Deathstroke will be in the film, after all. A few weeks ago, though, I saw an announcement that Manganiello will be starring in a Deathstroke solo film, which will be directed by Gareth Evans (The Raid). Like most DC fans, I think Manganiello is a great choice for the role, especially physique-wise. But, news of the solo movie got me thinking again of who (else) I thought might be able to take on the role. So, here ya go…

Deathstroke the Terminator

From what I can gather, Slade Wilson was roughly 30 when he was promoted to Lt. Colonel in the U.S. Army, got married, and was shipped off to war. (His second.) Some time after this, he volunteered for the experiment that ended up giving him powers, i.e., the ability to use up to 90% of his brain capacity, as well as near-superhuman strength, durability, and agility. After a military discharge (possibly connected to bouts of depression), he became a wealthy and famous big-game hunter. A few years after that, after mercenaries broke into their home and kidnapped their younger son, Joey, Wilson confessed to his wife that he was also Deathstroke the Terminator, “one of the world’s deadliest and most highly sought after assassins.” Wilson saved Joey, but not before the boy’s vocal cords were cut, making him mute. Wilson’s angered wife, Adeline, shot him, destroying his right eye. However, Wilson’s skills with firearms, bladed weapons, etc., was so great, as was his ego, that his occupation wasn’t even affected. In fact, he incorporated his right-eye blindness into his “Terminator” costume.

While generally working as a mercenary/assassin and even bounty hunter, Deathstroke sometimes works with superheroes, too. He often tangles with the Bat-family of heroes, various Justice Leaguers (alone or together), and most especially the (Teen) Titans. At times, he has been known to infiltrate a super-team (i.e., either himself or a double-agent) and/or foment conflict between members. He has even led the Titans for a time. His older son, Grant, was a villain called Ravager; son Joey became a hero/Titan named Jericho; and daughter Rose later took the name Ravager, her loyalties wavering between the Titans and her father. Deathstroke’s abilities and training allow him to hold his own (and sometimes temporarily defeat) much more powerful opponents, even multiple foes at once. He is cold, brutal, often lethal, yet he retains a sense of military-born honor.

Though I have seen a version of Wilson with black hair and no beard, his iconic look is silver/white hair and a goatee on his chin (no mustache). He is a tall, white man, quite muscular, with a patch over his blind right eye. (DC’s wiki page puts him at 6’4″, 225 lbs.) A later experiment gave him regenerative abilities, which also means that he ages extremely slowly. That said, I think it best to cast someone in their 40s, possibly even 50s. (Especially if we want the option of introducing one or more of his children in their teens to 20s.) He should also be at least 6’2″ and very physically fit. (Of course, anyone cast would probably need to do strength- and weapons-training.) I considered Kevin McKidd (5’11”,b.1973), but he’s too short. Alexander Skarsgård (6’4.5″,b.1976) might work for a younger version of Wilson. Except for his height, Stephen Lang (5’10.5″,b.1952) might’ve been a decent choice 20 years ago, but now he’s too old.

And that brings us to my three candidates for the role of Slade Wilson (aka Deathstroke the Terminator):

Ray Stevenson as The Punisher

Ray Stevenson‘s (6’4″,b.1964) name should sound familiar to you (and I think I’ve suggested him for another role or two), since he has played two Marvel characters — namely, Frank Castle in Punisher: War Zone (see pic) and Volstagg in all three Thor movies. He is also known for such genre fare as “Rome”, The Three Musketeers, “Dexter”, G.I. Joe: Retaliation, the Divergent film series, “Black Sails”, and voice work for “Star Wars: Rebels”. He is almost outside my preferred age range but still appears to be quite fit and could likely handle the physicality of the role. He is also the exact height of the comic-book Deathstroke.

 

Richard Armitage

Richard Armitage (6’2.5″,b.1971) should be another familiar name, as he has had roles in “Ultimate Force”, “Robin Hood”, “MI-5”, Captain America: The First Avenger, “Strike Back”, the Hobbit trilogy, “Hannibal”, “Berlin Station”, and voice work for “Castlevania”. That’s a pretty solid genre resume, and it includes some very physical action, including shooting guns and wielding swords. Plus, we know he looks great with chin whiskers (e.g., this pic I pulled from his IMDB profile). Just shave the mustache, trim the beard down to a goatee, dye it silvery-white, and we’re good to go!

 

Michael Shannon is The Iceman

Now, I wasn’t sure if I wanted to present a third candidate but ultimately I decided that Michael Shannon (6’3″,b.1974) was too good a possibility to pass up. He did such a great job with Zod in Man of Steel, and he spent part of that movie with a gray-n-black goatee (no mustache). So, we already know he can pull off the look; on the other hand, it might be too close to Slade Wilson’s classic look, so they might need to alter it. (Maybe a full goatee?) In any case, he has been in a ton of stuff besides MoS (e.g., Tigerland, Before the Devil Knows You’re Dead, Jonah Hex, Machine Gun Preacher, “Boardwalk Empire”, The Shape of Water) and would make a fine Deathstroke the Terminator.

Do my candidates meet your approval, dear readers?

* All ideas copyright Christopher Harris, 2013-2017.

Fan-Cast: James Bond, part 5: Felix Leiter

“Just what the hell are you trying to do, 007? Start World War III? ” — Felix Leiter (John Terry) in The Living Daylights

Last week I fan-cast “Q”, and I think I did a pretty good job. Now, let’s see if I can propose a few candidates to portray another of James Bond’s sometime-associates, Felix Leiter….

Felix Leiter

The 7 (Major) Leiters

Felix Leiter, as 007 fans know, is an American CIA (later DEA) agent who occasionally works with Bond on certain missions. They are written as friends and peers, though Bond, of course, always takes the lead, whether authorized to or not. Leiter’s role is often fairly small, typically assisting with technology, hardware, muscle, and/or money. After all, it’s the British agent who is the star.

The name originates from a combination of two of Ian Fleming’s friends: Ivar Felix C. Bryce and their mutual friend Thomas Leiter. The Leiter character has been portrayed on-screen by nine different actors, if you include the two versions from non-Eon productions (i.e, Bernie Casey in  Never Say Never Again (1983) and Michael Pate’s British agent, Clarence Leiter, in the first Casino Royale (1954)). But, those in the official Bond films were Jack Lord (1962), Cec Linder (1964), Rik Van Nutter (1965), Norman Burton (1971), David Hedison (1973 & 1989), John Terry (1987), and Jeffrey Wright (2006-2008).

Felix Leiter by George Almond

The Casino Royale novel introduces Leiter as a former U.S. Marine working with NATO’s Joint Intelligence Staff. He is tall, thin, and roughly 35 — so, about the same age as Bond. Also, “a mop of straw-coloured hair lent his face a boyish look which closer examination contradicted”. (Note: The sketch by George Almond appears to be of Leiter after he lost a hand and half a leg in a shark attack and joined the Pinkerton Detective Agency. The incident occurred in the Live and Let Die novel but was delayed until the License to Kill movie. We’ve never seen a post-amputation Leiter on-screen.) Most of the actors to play Leiter have been at least 6′ tall, but the ages have ranged a bit — especially Linder, who was nearly a decade older than Connery in Goldfinger, and Hedison, who was 19 years older than Dalton in License to Kill — as have builds and ethnicities. The better portrayals are described by experts as “swaggering” (Lord), “relaxed and charming” (Van Nutter), and Hedison lent the role an “understated charm” and “genuine chemistry” with Bond.

Given the variety of looks for Leiter in the past, along with the fact that many of the particulars really are inconsequential for this supporting character, I decided not to try to adhere to Fleming’s description of a tall, thin, boyish-looking blonde. However, I did opt to keep him roughly the same age as Bond (i.e., mid-30s to 40ish). I like Ben Foster (5’9″,b.1980) for it, and I think he may be the only actual blonde that I looked at for the role. He’s the right age and general build, but ultimately I decided he was a tad too short and didn’t have quite the right look. Jai Courtney (6’1″,b.1986) has the acting and action chops, but I decided he was a little too young. Similarly, Corey Hawkins (6’3″,b.1988) might have been an interesting choice, plus he’s tall and thin, but he is even younger than Courtney. So, he’s out, too.

My choices?

Gordon-Levitt

Joseph Gordon-Levitt (5’9.25″,b.1981) is my youngest candidate, and he still has a fairly boyish look to him, which certainly works in his favor. On the other hand, he is barely taller than Foster. Still, I think he could do a bang-up job as Leiter. His genre credits include “3rd Rock from the Sun”, “The Outer Limits”, Mysterious Skin, The Lookout, Stop-Loss, Killshot, G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra, Inception, The Dark Knight Rises, Looper, Sin City: A Dame to Kill For. I don’t think playing Bond’s CIA counterpart would be too tough for him. Not at all.

Prinze

My oldest candidate, and what some might consider a surprise pick, is Freddie Prinze, Jr. (6′,b.1976). Prinze’s genre roles were in things like I Know What You Did Last Summer, Wing Commander, Scooby-Doo, No Heroics, “24”, “Bones”, et al. He has also done a lot of voice work over the years, including Delgo, a couple “Mass Effect” games, a couple “Dragon Age” games, “Star Wars: Rebels”, and “Robot Chicken”. He’d probably need to dye his graying hair, but playing Leiter in a Bond film or three might be a great way to get the talented Prinze back into movies.

 

Bomer

Possibly my favorite (at least, at the moment) is Matt Bomer (5’11.5″,b.1977). He even played a superspy in a few episodes of “Chuck”. Other genre credits include “Tru Calling”, Flightplan, The Texas Chainsaw Massacre: The Beginning, “Traveler”, “White Collar”, In Time, Space Station 76, “American Horror Story”, and The Magnificent Seven remake. He might need to give the role a harder edge than others he has done, but Bomer has the looks, build, and talent to make a great Bond-ish secret agent. Felix Leiter could be right up his alley.

The best choice of the three would probably depend on who is cast as Bond and the potential similarities, differences, and acting chemistry between them.

That’s it for 007 and associates. Maybe someday I’ll try fan-casting some old Bond villains….

* All ideas copyright Christopher Harris, 2013-2017.

Fan-Cast: James Bond, part 4: Q

“Need I remind you, 007, that you have a license to kill, not to break the traffic laws.” — Q (Desmond Llewelyn)

In light of the latest 007 news, it seems appropriate that I continue my efforts from a few weeks ago of fan-casting James Bond’s closest associates. (Of course, I already had this planned and nearly finished before the news broke.) My latest is for the beloved ‘Q’….

Q

The Four (Major) Qs

As you all know, I’m sure, ‘Q’ (short for “Quartermaster”) is the brilliant and innovative engineer who provides Bond (and other agents) with tricked-out sports cars and various weapons and other devices intended to help keep Bond alive and accomplish his missions. In fact, ‘Q’ is the head of Q Branch/Division, MI6’s fictional R&D labs. As per Wikipedia, “Charles Fraser-Smith is widely credited as the inspiration for Q due to the spy gadgets he built for the Special Operations Executive. These were called Q-devices, after the Royal Navy’s World War I Q-ships….”

The character has been portrayed by six men altogether, though only the four pictured here were in official Bond films by Eon Productions: Peter Burton (1962), Desmond Llewelyn (1963-1999), John Cleese (2002), Ben Whishaw (2012-present). Burton played the armourer “Major Boothroyd” in Dr. No, a character Ian Fleming named after Geoffrey Boothroyd, a firearms expert in Glasgow, Scotland, who had given him some suggestions for improving Bond’s firearms. Boothroyd returned in From Russia with Love, this time played by Llewelyn. But, from Goldfinger (1964) forward, the character was referred to as ‘Q’. Llewelyn died in late 1999 and Q’s assistant, ‘R’ (Cleese), got a promotion in Die Another Day (2002). Alas, ‘Q’ was recast along with everyone else for the Craig-era films.

Llewelyn and Brosnan

I am not aware of any physical description given for Boothroyd/’Q’ by Fleming in the original novels, though there may be. However, the point is fairly moot, since (like ‘M’) the title has been held by more than one individual over the years. Most of them have been relatively slender and at least 6′ tall. Whishaw is only 5’9″, though, and also seems to be the only one under 40. The older, “consummate professional” versions of ‘Q’ are typically of mixed feelings toward Bond, recognizing the agent’s successful track record, yet often annoyed by his short attention span and a “playful lack of respect for his equipment”. There is usually a bit of verbal sparring between the two, though usually limited to lighthearted teasing, nothing heated. Despite this, the respect is mutual. The dynamic is somewhat different with the now-younger and less experienced ‘Q’, but Bond recognizes and appreciates the younger man’s skills.

My preference would be to cast someone in their 40s to 60s, though I’m flexible on height and general build. In addition to my final three, there were only two actors that I seriously considered for the role before ruling them out, and they happen to be my oldest and youngest candidates, respectively. Brendan Gleeson (6’2″,b.1955) has, of course, been in many things over the past three decades, including genre productions like Braveheart, Turbulence, Mission: Impossible II, Edge of Tomorrow, and three Harry Potter films. James Corden (5’8″,b.1978), on the other hand, has been acting (e.g., “Jack and the Beanstalk: The Real Story”, Pierrepoint: The Last Hangman, Gulliver’s Travels, “Doctor Who”) for about 20 years but is most known these days as the popular, silly host of “The Late Late Show with James Corden” here in the States. Though they didn’t survive my “Top 3” cut, I still think either Gleeson or Corden could do a wonderful job — Gleeson in particular playing Q as uptight and humorless, whereas Corden would be best playing it rather more eccentric, perhaps even goofy.

I’m going to throw a couple Americans out for your consideration first. I think you’ll see, though, how these “out of the box” choices might be surprisingly good candidates for ‘Q’. The last (and oldest) might be a more traditional choice….

Masi Oka

A certified genius, Masayori “Masi” Oka (5’6″,b.1974) graduated from Brown University with degrees in math and computer science and a minor in theater arts. He appeared in various small roles in TV and film, while working as a CGI artist for Industrial Light & Magic. He became a genre star with his breakout role as Hiro Nakamura in “Heroes” (and later “Heroes Reborn”). Since then, he has become a semi-regular as Dr. Max Bergman on “Hawaii Five-O” (see pic). His quirky performance and straightforward, somewhat wordy explanations of his findings (to the mild annoyance of the other characters) would, I think, work quite well as a version of ‘Q’, too. If he can’t do a passable British accent, they could have fun with his being a “Yank”.

Neil Patrick Harris

Neil Patrick Harris (6′,b.1973) came to prominence as a child actor playing “Doogie Howser, M.D.”. He also did voice work (e.g., “Capitol Critters”) and appeared in genre shows like “Quantum Leap” and “The Outer Limits”. Later genre work includes Starship Troopers, “Joan of Arc”, “Dr. Horrible’s Sing-Along Blog” (see pic), and lots more voice work (e.g., “Justice League”, “Spider-Man”). Since his sitcom, “How I Met Your Mother”, ended, he has appeared in Gone Girl, “American Horror Story”, and stars in the new “A Series of Unfortunate Events”. Harris is multi-talented, and I wouldn’t be surprised if he could pull off a good British accent. He could play ‘Q’ as a by-the-book, humorless/sarcastic straight man (pun intended), OR he could play him as a rather fun and eccentric character. Either way, he’d make a great Quartermaster.

Kenneth Branagh

I think the first thing I remember taking note of Kenneth Branagh (5’9.5″,b.1960) in was Dead Again, though I don’t much remember the movie. I was, of course, aware of his work in Henry V, and he went on to do other Shakespearean works, as well. I next saw him in Mary Shelley’s Frankenstein with Robert De Niro. Other genre work includes Wild Wild West, Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets, Valkyrie, Jack Ryan: Shadow Recruit, “Wallander”, and the recent Dunkirk. Branagh is another top-notch talent — heck, he could direct the film, too — who could do a terrific job as a semi-comedic foil / ally for Agent 007. He is also old enough to be a quasi-mentor or fatherly figure for our 30-something Bond.

I can’t decide which one I like best. You?

* All ideas copyright Christopher Harris, 2013-2017.

Fan-Casting the Original Predator Movie for Today, part 2

Continuing from last week, let’s finish casting the original Predator movie as if it were being produced today….

“Hawkins”

Bracey

Courtney

Radio operator Rick Hawkins is roughly 6′, give or take, and in good shape but not nearly as brawny as most of the other guys. Shane Black played him as somewhat of a foul-mouthed, comic-reading dork. (But, not *too* dorky.) He held his own for awhile and took out a few guerrillas before being taken out himself by the Predator. Black was in his mid-20s, but there’s no reason we can’t cast someone a few years older. There are probably plenty of actors who would have fun with this role, but for some reason I came up with Jai Courtney (6’1″,b.1986) or Luke Bracey (6′,b.1989). I can definitely see either one of them hamming it up as an annoying, yet very capable, goober.

“Poncho”

Isaac

Bernal

The terrific Richard Chaves played explosives expert Jorge “Poncho” Ramírez in the original Predator. As with Hawkins, he wasn’t nearly as big and muscular as some of the other guys. He had more of a slim and wiry frame and clocked in at 5’10”. With this in mind, I wanted another, non-beefy Latino — under 6′ tall and in his mid- to late-30s — for our “Poncho”. Two talented actors came to mind: Gael García Bernal (5’7″,b.1978) and Oscar Isaac (5’8.5″,b.1979). Bernal can be seen in things like Babel and Salt and Fire, while Isaac is known to genre fans for Star Wars: The Force Awakens and X-Men: Apocalypse. I’d feel comfortable putting “Poncho” in either one’s very capable hands.

“Billy”

Segers

One of the fan-favorite characters from Predator has got to be the Native American tracker, Billy Sole, as portrayed by Sonny Landham. ‘Billy’ was the strong, silent type, who when he did speak revealed a rich bass voice. He knew how to take care of himself, live off the land, etc. All he really needed was a big, sharp knife, and he was good to go. So, when this guy got spooked, you knew you were in trouble! Naturally, we need another tall, beefy Native American, preferably around 40 or so, who can give that similar vibe. No one came to mind, but my research turned up the perfect candidate in Geno Segers (6’3or4″,b.1976). You may have seen Segers in “Banshee” or Bone Tomahawk and noticed that he has the right build and the bass voice, too. I think he’s perfect for the role.

“Anna”

Sellers

Telles

Anna Gonsalves is, of course, the 20-something woman that Dutch’s team rescues & protects, as originally played by Elpidia Carrillo. Keeping Carrillo as the model, we need a cute Latina of slender build. At first, I thought of Alice Braga for the part, though she’s perhaps a little older than I’d prefer. Then I remembered that she already played Isabelle in Predators (2010). (Of course, by casting the original film now, I guess that would put Predators in an alternate timeline.) So, I came up with either Julia Goldani Telles (5’7″,b.1995) (“Nurse Jackie”, “The Affair”) or Rosabell Laurenti Sellers (5’2″,b.1996) (“Mia and me”, “Game of Thrones”), who is actually of Italian descent. Either one works for me.

“The Predator”

DeSantis

The title character is a very imposing creature, quite tall and muscular, with a fearsome visage and arthropod-like external mandibles. (Appearances have changed somewhat from movie to movie, of course.) How tall? Well, certainly the average is taller than the average human. But, the actors portraying Predators on-screen have ranged from 6’2″ (Tom Woodruff Jr. as “Grid” in AVP: Alien vs. Predator) to 7’2.5″ (the late Kevin Peter Hall in Predator and Predator 2). Ian Whyte (7’1″) has played multiple different Predators, even in the same film. The rest were either 6’5″ or 6’7″. They’ve all done great jobs, but I thought it might be nice to get someone totally different in the prosthetics this time.

Singh staring down John Cena

Bjornsson

My first suggestion is John DeSantis (6’9″,b.1977), known for such fare as “A Series of Unfortunate Events”, “Falling Skies”, “Supernatural”, Seventh Son, and many more. He looked quite barrel-chested in “Supernatural” (see pic), but not so much in others. Regardless, he has played many “creatures” over the years, so he should be used to prosthetics and heavy make-up. Next up is Icelandic strongman Hafþór Júlíus Björnsson (6’9″,b.1988), whom we have seen in “Game of Thrones” as Gregor “The Mountain” Clegane. (Although, Ian Whyte had that role before him.) He is a beast and would probably be the most muscular of all to play a Predator. I think he’d make a great foe for Johnson’s “Dutch”. Finally, upping the size factor another notch, I’d like to see the one-and-only Dalip “The Great Khali” Singh (7’1″,b.1972) suit up. Known for his massive upper body and prognathic jaw, this former powerlifter/bodybuilder and wrestler would make an incredibly formidable, alien antagonist for our commando team. (Especially “Dutch”, who has to go hand-to-hand against him!) He’s the oldest of the three, but roughly the same age as Johnson. So, as long as he’s still in shape…. I can’t decide which one I like best!

There ya are, folks! My casting picks for a present-day version of the original Predator! Can you imagine seeing a heavily-armed “Rock”, White, Oparei, Austin, Bracey, Isaac, Segers, and Sellers go up against a technologically-superior hunter the likes of Björnsson or Singh? Here, take my money!

Fan-Casting the Original Predator Movie for Today, part 1

Original *Predator* cast (well, most of them)

I love(d) Predator (1987).

Not only is it one of Ahnold’s best movies (imho), but the John McTiernan-directed flick is a great sci-fi/action thriller, too. You probably knew that there was a new sequel coming out next year, right? The Predator is being co-written and directed by Shane Black, who played the character of ‘Hawkins’ in the original. But, did you also realize that Predator celebrated its 30th anniversary just a couple weeks ago (June 12)?!

In honor of the occasion (though slightly belated), I’d like to offer my suggestions for casting the original — same characters, same plot — as if it were being made today. Of course, it would be extremely difficult to match, let alone surpass, the original cast. They were perfect and just worked so darn well together! But, I think I came up with a really good lineup. You be the judge…

“Dutch”

The star and leader of the ill-fated team of commandos is Major Alan “Dutch” Schaefer. I think we need an actor who is just as big as Arnold Schwarzenegger was — in physical size, fame, and charisma. I considered a couple others (e.g., John Cena), but the obvious choice here seems to be Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson (6’4or5″,b.1972). OK, so he doesn’t look like a “Dutch”, but that can be explained in any number of ways (e.g., mixed heritage, adoption, inside joke) and, frankly, wouldn’t even need to be addressed in the movie. We know he’s got the presence and the talent to play a tough, cigar-chompin’, take-charge military leader, as well as the muscles to give a big ol’ Predator a run for its money.

“Dillon”

Next in line is Dutch’s old comrade-in-arms, Dillon. Originally played by Carl Weathers, he needs to be a large black man, almost as muscular as Dutch and roughly the same age. My pick is Michael Jai White (6’1″,b.1967). He’s an avid martial artist and already quite muscular, though he might want to bulk up a little more for this. In the original movie Schwarzenegger and Weathers were both in their late-30s, but for this one Johnson would be in his mid-40s and White is almost 50, if you can believe it! (Looks younger, though, and still kicks @$$.) White mostly does B-movies and voice work, but he has also been in “Arrow” and “Mortal Kombat: Legacy”. He’d make a formidable CIA liaison and former U.S. Army Colonel George Dillon.

“Mac”

For this character, we need another big black dude, even taller than Dutch or Dillon, and preferably in his 40s (though early 50s might do). As played by the wonderful actor/director Bill Duke, medic Mac Elliot was an intense guy who didn’t say much. I could’ve gone a few different ways with this character, but ultimately I liked British actor Deobia Oparei (6’6″,b.1971) the best. He had a supporting role as Doran Martell’s bodyguard in “Game of Thrones” and as an African warlord in Independence Day: Resurgence; he was also in Doom with Johnson (see pic). He’s tall, beefy, and intimidating. Perfect.

 

“Blain”

Austin

When wrestler Jesse Ventura played Blain “Ain’t got time to bleed.” Cooper, he was only in his mid-30s. I’ve opted to go a bit older for my version, but it shouldn’t make much difference. My three candidates — yeah, I can’t decide — are also big, tough wrestlers. At least two of them have wielded large-caliber ordnance for roles before, too. They are Steve Austin (6’0.75″,b.1964), Bill Goldberg (6’3.5″,b.1966), and Paul “Triple H” Levesque (6’4″,b.1969). I think any of them ought to be able to handle the role of the bubble-gum chewing, hard-rocking gunner.

 

Goldberg

Levesque

OK, I need to cut this one a little bit short, since I’m traveling over the next few days. I’ll finish up next week, including finding someone new to play the title character….